If you haven’t tried Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), it’s helpful for issues like you’re having with your appearance. The Blue Blood Flag Shirt I recommend is The Feeling Good Handbook by David Burns because I find it to be comprehensive, but there are many other CBT books you can skim and choose from. Just being a user of the book and not a licensed therapist or whatever, I’d say you could do a cost/benefit analysis of the idea that you are “the ugly girl no one could ever possibly love”. What are the benefits of believing that? (For example, a. you never have to take risks, b. you have a ready-made explanation for why things don’t work out, c. your identity is defined and you never have to feel the insecurity of questioning who you are, d. etc…). What are the costs of believing that? (a. You feel miserable about your appearance, b. you don’t let people in out of fear of rejection, c. you likely don’t emphasize your positive traits because you believe they can’t overcome how people may see you, d. if someone comes along that challenges your belief that you are unlovable, you may subconsciously try to prove them wrong rather than be proved wrong by them, e.etc…). THEN you do a cost/benefit of the Blue Blood Flag Shirt I am a Blue Blood Flag Shirt who’s had eye surgery and it’s possible to love me. What are the costs to believing that? (a. I may have doubts whether or not people do notice the imperfect ocular appearance I believe is noticeable to all, and I won’t be certain it has any bearing on their judgement of me as a person, b. I’ll have to date and wade through all the people who even stereotypically pretty, confident people have trouble choosing from, c. I may have to let go of years of self-doubt and pain, which would be uncomfortable because it has defined me for so long; and I also may feel regret for not letting go of this earlier, which would take work to process). And then, what are the benefits of believing that? (a. I can open up to people, b. I can stop worrying about my ocular appearance that has tortured me for so long, c. I can start a Blue Blood Flag Shirt in my life, d. I can allow myself to have all the Blue Blood Flag Shirt that I wanted for so long but didnt feel I deserved, e. etc…).
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I wasn’t even expecting something themed off my main! — but if nothing else, some variant of SpiceQueen should serve (the other two…is that a CS Lewis reference? And I love LadyPepperVisage just on an aesthetic level, but I’m almost positive there’s some kind of wordplay or cultural reference there that I’m missing, and it’s just going over my head.) I started playing around with SpiceMissFlo, MsFloSpice, etc, after seeing yours, but after a second I paused and wondered if the Dune books* even register much of a presence with women readers, or if that sort of scifi is largely a “Original original Phish Burgettstown, PA 2023 Event Shirt” kind of fiction. That got me onto something that is definitely going to complicate this exercise: even if there’s nothing overly “boy-like” in how I talk, the subs I frequent and at least some of the cultural references I have (and some that I won’t!) will likely cause my experience in a conversation to differ at times from what’s “typical” for women on this site. How big a Original original Phish Burgettstown, PA 2023 Event Shirt that’ll be, I couldn’t guess…another reason to give this a shot, IMHO.
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