but you’re intentionally putting motive into your father’s words that were not there, so you DO need to let it go. I get it, when it comes from parents, let alone the Uncle Sam X Kermit frog we want you meme shirt, it’s going to be more emotionally fraught and open to misinterpretation at that age. But you’re not that age. As a male, without a son, were his comments possibly intended as acceptance of your more tom-boyish inclinations, and trying to express connection or kinship? If you make a radical change in your appearance, wouldn’t “whoa, pink is for girls” be more of noticing the change, but also an indication that he had accepted that you didn’t fit the traditional ideas of being a girly-girl up to that point? If you are not willing to entertain the Uncle Sam X Kermit frog we want you meme shirt that your only parent did not have malice in his intentions towards his only child, then his fractured relationship and the lingering emotional fall-out is there because you choose to have it there. Those are easily interpretations that could be true, as much as the rejection you were reading into it. No one would blame you for reading that into it, then. Those years are roiling with emotional turmoil as we all were trying to figure out, ourselves, where we fit and were feeling misunderstood, constrained and defined by our parents at the same time. But it’s not that time any more. He did leave them. To the degree that he hurt you, he took ownership of that, even if that was not his intent. You’re going to feel how you’re going to feel, but at some point you’re going to have the take the initiative to take ownership of those events and put them behind you, instead of letting them continue to own and define you, as an adult. Not because you are obligated to, but because having any kind of negative emotional energy is a drain on you, as a person, and the greater happiness you could be having.
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Mail is still delivered and collected here in the U.K. on Christmas Eve, and I believe the same is true for the U.S. also. Although I know that this is not the Shit piss fuck cunt cock sucker motherfucker and tits shirt in some countries, Christmas Eve is a normal working day in the U.K. and again I believe that the same is true for the U.S. also (though may people do finish work early on Christmas Eve). The question reminded me of how the mail delivered to my house on two different Christmas Eves illustrated how Christmas is not just a time of goodwill when you receive cards and presents in the post, but also a time when life goes on as usual and you can still receive the most unwelcome and unpleasant items of mail as I did on those two occasions. And here I kid you not, believe me, because twice in my life I have received a court summons on Christmas Eve !
There’s a Angel Olsen Tour 2023 poster shirt of tradition of going out for Chinese food on or around Christmas in the US. So far as I can tell, this largely originates from large cities and in particular from Jews living in New York. Consider the cultural landscape of the earlier part of the 20th century. Jews, of course, do not celebrate Christmas, so they’d be more likely than the Christian majority to go out to eat then, as opposed to their celebrating neighbors who are likely at home with family, roasting their own turkeys and such. And where do they go on Christmas? Well, most restaurants are going to be closed, because their predominantly Christian proprietors and employees are also at home. The major exception, then, was Chinese restaurants. The immigrants running those places were less likely than average to be Christian, so they had no cultural tradition of shutting down on or around December 25. So if you’re a Jewish New Yorker who wants to go out for dinner on Christmas, it’s Chinese food or nothing. This practice may have been popularized in particular by Calvin Trillin, the noted food columnist for the New York Times. He was himself Jewish and wrote a marvelous column about his wife wanting a “traditional holiday dinner.” What she was talking about was the idea, coming in from outside their cultural world, of turkey, mashed potatoes, and so on, but to Trillin, his traditional holiday dinner was going out for Chinese.
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